Stress is a Choice: Reclaiming Control Over Your Reactions

Have you ever considered that stress is a choice?

Years ago, I was in a meeting with the CEO and owner of the business I worked for. At one point, the CEO completely lost his composure, screaming at the head of R&D and insulting him—personally and professionally. It was a shocking and uncomfortable scene. I felt terrible for my colleague and wondered what my reaction would be if I was in his shoes.

After the meeting, I spoke with the R&D leader, who I happened to know well. What amazed me was how he kept his composure during the confrontation, as if the CEO’s words had no effect on him. I asked him how he managed to stay calm and not let the experience stress him out.

His response was simple but profound: “Stress is a choice. I chose not to let [the situation] upset me.”

He went on to explain that he learned long ago that letting someone else’s actions dictate his emotions would only hurt him. Staying calm wasn’t just an act of self-protection, it was a conscious decision to stay in control of the situation and himself.

That conversation changed the way I think about stress. Often, the stress we feel is a default reaction, an unconscious choice, but a choice nonetheless. Once you recognize this, you can begin to shift your mindset. The next time you’re faced with a challenging situation, ask yourself: What would happen if I chose not to get stressed?

Choosing calm over chaos allows you to:

• Protect your energy and focus

• Make better, more thoughtful decisions

• Avoid escalating a tense situation

This lesson has had a profound impact on my career and personal life. Whenever I find myself in a high-pressure situation, I remind myself of this truth: Stress won’t solve the problem, it will only make it harder to find a solution.

The next time someone around you loses control, take a step back. Stay calm. Choose peace over panic. You’ll be surprised at how much more effective (and less exhausted) you’ll feel.

Have you experienced moments where you’ve chosen calm over stress? What are your thoughts on stress being a choice that you have control over. Reach out and let me know what you think.